Wednesday, August 29, 2012

Red Rain Together (Draft 2)

That's right folks... I started this next section and it came out badly. My style wasn't matching what I had written in the past, since unifying these perspectives is tricky. Maybe someday the old version (what little exists) will come to light. Who can tell...

He held his precious sister close.
As the held each other more tightly Nic felt the microchip in his pocket pressing into his chest. And he remembered the other plan.
Time escaped all their minds during the long-awaited unification. Chronology was gone, too, and awareness of one's surroundings. Nic and Cea never knew how long they held eachother, and neither did the Smyrna family, nor did any of them care.
All Nic knew was that when he woke up, it was dark. This offended his mind, since when he went to bed, it was dark, and he could tell by his sleep cycles that he had slept the regular amount of time. And then he realized he was twenty feet below ground level in a room surrounded by people who would undoubtedly start their day by making orations to apparition of their minds. How very sad.
Nic couldn't really see much down there anyway. At least he wouldn't have to watch the spectacle. He proceeded to explore the room.
Junk in that corner. Junk in that corner. A body in that corner surrounded by junk. Ashes in that corner. Then he found the little pit for fire. A pile of kindling near it, just barely determinable by the tiny light the embers emitted.
Nic had learned how to make a fire in one of his pre-history classes back in his fifth year of college. They had run out of general education classes for him, so they stuck him in that one. He never thought his knowledge of Neanderthals would be useful.
Nic began his business with fascination. Fire itself was a novelty to him, unless it was at the end of a butane burner or in small amounts on test substances. He smelled smoke. He knew more about its chemical composition than he did about its smell, or the fact that it stung one's eyes. He learned that quickly.
He proceeded to tear tiny strips of paper off of the first book in his hands from the kindling pile. He watched with fascination as the tiny strips would be illumined in the red light of the hot remnants of combustion, twist and turn, turn black at the edges, and then become ashes in the wake of a tiny glow.
Nic leaned close and blew on the embers, watching with a fascinated pride as it glowed more strongly while his breath was on it. It was like the Christian creation story. Stuff becomes alive when you blow on it.
He tore off strip after strip and watched as it burned. He took off a larger chunk of paper and put it on slowly. As he did a few words were revealed on the paper that flashed into his mind.
"the story of the King, who died for a people not his own."
The paper twisted away and burned to ashes. Nic hoped for his own survival sake he had not just burned some part of a Bible. Christians, he knew, did not believe in hatred, anger, or murder, but figured they might make an exception if the last of a Bible document was burned away. Especially if it was by the guy who lead the team that destroyed them in the first place. And most especially if that guy happened to be the only non-Christian in a darkened basement of a Christian underground. The dregs he was dragged through for his science.
For twenty more minutes Nic tried to make a fire. But no matter how much paper he put on at once without smothering the fire, it all just burned away.
Suddenly another face was awkwardly close to his, blowing on the fire, and then instantly a wrapped up tube of paper planted on the hottest ember. It gradually caught. The body in the shadows fed it smaller wads and tubes until finally what little wood was in the fire pot was caught.
Nic looked at Dr. Smyrna next to him, "So. Where did you learn how to build a fire?"
"In the camp. They didn't always give Unaccepted electricity in the winter."
"Did you burn your Bibles in there?" Nic asked, just to elicit a reaction.

"No. We burned yours."
"We don't have Bibles. We are scientists and humanists and other such apostates."
"Sure you do. They're called biology textbooks, history textbooks, government announcements, art commentaries."
"Those are academic texts."
Smyrna didn't even take a breath, "And so is the Bible."
"Yeah, but your Bible is a lot more."
"Not to you it's not. You go to your textbooks for wisdom, for instruction, for meaning, and all such things. Those and the movies are your Bibles."
Nic stared at the fire that still burned well. "So what's the difference if we both find satisfactory truth?"
"We both find satisfaction. Only one of us finds truth. Now tell me, who is more likely to have truth, the movie directors or the Truth Himself?"
"So long as you reserve the right to define your deity as the embodiment of truth, you will never lose this argument."
Smyrna smiled, "And if we define Him as anything else, He isn't God anymore, and you win this argument."

Tuesday, August 21, 2012

Philli Part 29 & Crook Q 51B

I really don't know what to do about this scene. I have to pick which perspective to write it in... though maybe I will eventually do both. Philli has been resting for quite a time, so to add to the drama effect I have decided to take a try at writing this pivotal scene from Phil's perspective.

Nic took the boxes off from on top of the box, and, sure enough there was  lift-able door on top of the crate. Opening it Nic just discerned the glint of the top wrung of a ladder. He got in and started climbing down, Smyrna just above his head with Ephesus there to replace the door. The boxes were empty, so Ephesus could just put them on the door and then carefully lower it in place and there would be no sign of their arrival. As he placed the door down he saw the lights of the stereo go off. All was dark and they climbed down the ladder.

--

I sat in the basement by the light of burning trash. Stanyard had come down and explained the lights needed to go off. The United might notice excess electricity being expended by their building. He had given me some matches and told me that was what the burn pile was for. There were vents in the ceiling, so it would be fine to burn if the fire was right under them
I didn't know if it was day or night outside by this point. I had decided it was day, so I had lit a fire since I couldn't stand a dawnless day. Cea still thought it was night; she was sleeping.
I couldn't bring myself to burn any of those books, even if I hadn't ever heard of them before. I was sure the were precious somehow. I sat there reading one of the shorter ones, The Song of the Troll, to the light of the burning R.I.U.N. manual. I had started with the blasphemous Ten Commandments. Then I had went back to the front.
The story was a strange one. It was about a strange man who had survived a terrible war. And now all he cared about was a little girl he met. He was so powerful and so smart in his own way, but all he cared about was that silly little girl. Then I heard his shoes clapping on the ladder rungs.
It wasn't Stanyard's walk. It wasn't Cea going up, even though I knew we weren't allowed to.
It was my daddy.
I heard his shoes hit the ground, and more coming down behind him. Ephesus!
I bounded over in the darkness, almost tripping over Cea, who was just poking her head up, and hugged him as the first man got to the ground.
Then I realized it wasn't my daddy. And it wasn't Ephesus with his lump over-stuffed coat. It was Daddy's shirt, but not him.
I paled. And then I started walking backwards. Cea had to catch me.
It was him.
"Running into me again, Philadelphia Smyrna? I thought you had said you'd be more careful."
I sat shaking on the floor, Cea holding my shoulders.
Silence reigned as the second man got to the bottom of the ladder. Cea let go of me and hugged her brother. I could hear her choked-back sobs. Her brother was out of prison. He was alive, and apparently well. Daddy came and scooped me up and kissed me lightly on the cheek. He was back, and he was alive, too.
And then Ephesus came down, and I was overwhelmed enough to forget who else was in the room.
My family had shared tough times before. When we had been told that Ephesus was dead. When Mira and Stanyard had run off. When we thought Daddy was being taken away. And every time we had coped with it together, holding each other close. We never held each other closer than that time in all the times I can remember.
I wept and I thanked God, all mixing with snippets of stories and prayers my daddy and brother were making. I didn't care we were in a smoky dark basement twenty feet below the ground. I wouldn't have cared if we were back on Mars in a basement. I wouldn't care if we were the last house left in the shrinking Street 17 containment camp. As long as we were there and we were together, I would learn to be content in all things. Back together and safe was all that mattered.

--

Nic led the descent down into the basement. He heard the crackle of flames, maybe a page turning. Surely this was the containment cell, then. One prison for the other for the other. It was ridiculous. Hopefully it was a big room or more than one so that he could have some privacy from the Christians that had been stalking him since he arrived in floor negative nine of Rott.
His foot missed a rung. That must be the bottom. Nic hopped off the ladder and looked into the room. There was small fire, casting very little light. There looked to be the outline of someone laying on the floor there, and...
And she had him around the waist. But she was too short and too smooth haired to be Cea.
Nic was not one to demonstrate his frustration violently unless his very freedom was being threatened. Since it was merely personal space violation, he as able to restrain himself to just a huff through the nose.
Then she realized her mistake. "Running into me again, Philadelphia Smyrna? I thought you had said you'd be more careful."
Nic would have gone on, in a sweet moment of irony and emotional vengeance, but then the outline stood up. Even in the dim light he could see those blonde curls that almost matched his in color. And even through the dark he could see that she had been through more than him. And even in the dark Nic could tell that all she was thinking about was him.
They grabbed onto each other simultaneously. Who cared if they were in the basement of some Christian's underground operation? They had found each other, and now the could go back to working together. Cea had been there as support for ever major event in Nic's life. Now the could start over again. Once they disappeared into the mega-country called the United they could be free again. Or go off to Mars. Nic didn't care. He held his precious sister close.
As the held each other more tightly Nic felt the microchip in his pocket pressing into his chest. And he remembered the other plan.

Crook Q Part 51

Ephesus returned to the front of the Unity Peak building to find Nic engaged in an awkward looking conversation with someone. The stance of the other man betrayed that he was a man in authority. Nic usually didn't do well with those.
Ephesus strayed his path near to the two conversants. He didn't want to appear to be with Nic, since that would increase how noticeable the group was, but he was dying to hear what the two were saying. Just as he got within earshot he heard Nic say, "Well it was nice meeting you."
"My pleasure Doctor John Paul," the other man responded, shaking Nic's hand heartily, and walking away.
Ephesus waited for a few minutes before moving to the side of the street and saying, "I called a taxi. He should be here in a minute or two or three or four."
"Such imprecision."
"Driving through traffic is hardly a science."
"What is it then, an art?"
"No. It's the way normal people live, something you wouldn't know anything, Paul."
"Nor would I want to, Benny. Normal people live under the yoke of oppression for while and then they die and go to an earthy prison."
"Oh, and what will you do different?"
"I will live free," said Nic, clipping his sentence off cleanly.
"And then proceed to the earthy prison?"
"If I land there knowing I died a free man, I think I'll be glad."
"No, you won't. You'll be dead."
"I thought you Unaccepted believed in a life after death."
"We do. You just won't be glad."
"Whatever you say, young theologian. If you don't mind I will be considering our escape plan some more."
"It's simple. The van comes, we get in it. They will take care of us."
"Yes, they will take care of you. But they won't want me for long."
"Our underground will assist Unaccepted and Outsiders alike."
"Yes, but I won't live with them for long. I don't like having every idle phrase of mine cross-examined."
"Better to examine now and repent than to be examined later," Ephesus was interrupted.
"And be cast into hell."
Awkward silence reigned until van pulled up in five minute parking parking lot.
Ephesus went to the window, which rolled down. He said inside, "Can you take us to A and 113?"
The door was powered open from the inside and all three scientists piled inside. The door shut and they all let out a collective sigh of relief.
Ephesus said quickly to the driver, "I'm the only on in the inside. These are just passengers."
Smyrna for the first time realized how fully his son had become independent of him. Ephesus was running everything now. That thought gave him a bit to chew on for the ride. Nic tried to ignore his powerlessness in the situation. He inhaled and exhaled little gusts threw his nose to twitch around his mustache, which was by now a fair bit longer than he had liked. They had not given him a razor for his time in service, and the barber had never got at his mustache while in prison.
Prison made him think of John and Dowe. Those two poor fools. Those were the kind of people Nic would never let himself become.
The van did not go at all in the direction of Alpha and 113. It merely returned on its route towards the pizza place. Meanwhile, Ephesus watched out the windows at parts of the city he had never seen. He looked up at all the skyscrapers and around at the small buildings that were only a few floors tall. Glass walls glistened huge mural reflections of the grayish smoggy sky. The sky either had no clouds or only one massive one. It was noon, and since reflections were minimized thereby the city seemed only uglier than it needed to to the Unaccepted eye.
They all tried to keep their faces away from the windows, but even for the older gentlemen the city was fascinating. A mixture of beauty and filth so intertwined that you could never get your fill of the one and could never escape the other.
The van turned into a street alley that led to the garages behind the commercial district. This was it.
The van calmly turned toward an ordinary garage. It was a plain brick building, fairly old. The rear side of the  massive sign that faced the street spelled "Pizza" backwards, with birds nests in every rafter and support. The garage doors opened and the van parked inside, next to an old ice-cream truck that had become a pizza delivery vehicle.
Nic hopped out of the vehicle. "Step inside?" he asked.
The driver looked at him, then at Ephesus. Ephesus said, "You heard my code word. Treat us with appropriate clearance. We don't really have a choice but to trust the other two."
The driver nodded. He walked inside the store and slammed the door behind him in Nic's face. The locks clicked instantly. Nic looked around. "We are to hide in a garage?"
Ephesus rolled his eyes. For irony's sake, at that exact moment there was a short hiss, and a door opened on the left edge of the wall that had the door into the shop. It led to some stairs.
The threesome quickly slipped in and the door shut behind them. They walked down the wooden stairs trying to be quiet, but with little success. They arrived in a dimly lit basement. All three stood still until an old stereo next to them turned on by itself. The light of its LEDs just barely revealed a cassette sitting on one of the million boxes in the stuffed basement. Ephesus took the tape and stuffed it in the stereo.
Pressing the yellowed plastic button that nearly cracked off as he did so, they heard the barely discernible and heavily garbled voice of a what might have been a man or a woman say, "Find the box marked, 'More Recent Stuff.' Three boxes over at ground level. Read shipping tag. Now put tape back."
Ephesus took the tape and put it back where it was. Nic whispered, "How are we supposed to find this box in the dark?"
"Reading, Nic. It's a useful skill."
They crawled all over the network of boxes, just barely able to read anything written there. Smyrna found the box in question, then did the conversion and found a wooden crate with a shipping tag. He called the other two over.
On the tag was scrawled, among all the bar codes and postal abbreviations, "De Profundis."
Ephesus and Smyrna were confused. Smyrna ventured, "'De' sounds like a Latin for "god.'"
Nic whispered, "It's an old Latin phrase. It means 'From the depths, out of despair.'" A reference to one of the Psalms, I think. Must be a hatch to another basement.
Nic took the boxes off from on top of the box, and, sure enough there was  lift-able door on top of the crate. Opening it Nic just discerned the glint of the top wrung of a ladder. He got in and started climbing down, Smyrna just above his head with Ephesus there to replace the door. The boxes were empty, so Ephesus could just put them on the door and then carefully lower it in place and there would be no sign of their arrival. As he placed the door down he saw the lights of the stereo go off. All was dark and they climbed down the ladder.

Sunday, August 19, 2012

Crook Q Part 50

"Well, Stephen, they know they can always drag us into the temple later. Once they have spotted you there is no losing you, so they may as well maximize dramatic affect."
Ephesus made one glance at his father and at Nic. "And you are?"
"Paul. John Paul Jones. I just go by the middle name."
"Somehow I would have expected Benedict Arnold."
"We can't all have the same name can we, Benny?"
Ephesus rolled his eyes, but accepted the new designation. "Anyhow, we might as well assume that they aren't trailing us yet. If they are, it's all lost any way. We just need to get where I can make a call."
The elder Smyrna was not so easily convinced, "Isn't it possible that we are being followed just to see where we go?"
"Very. But sitting still anywhere is of no use to us.Moving is the key. Let's go find somewhere the aren't likely to be scanning."
Smyrna and Nic left the building first, so as not to move as a threesome. The stood outside and waited at the side of the road, as though anticipating a taxi. Ephesus exited just a little later, and immediately began strolling down the street.
He hated having the pressure of finding a safe place to call on him, but also enjoyed the thrill of actually being in the adventure. He was walking by one of the improvised trash bins that had once been a flower pot when he spotted a lucky surprise. There it was.
The scanner itself. At one time the foliage had been enough to at least obscure the small box, but now that garbage had become the chief occupant of the concave surface, it was there for all to see. Ephesus sat on it. He'd have to hope that would be enough to weaken the ability to listen to his call. Besides, his number was on the old cell system. The signal from that system would have been pale at best without a man sitting on the box.
Only one more hurdle remained. The phone Ephesus owned was old. Very old. It would be clearly visible as such. Hopefully no one concerned or knowledgeable enough would walk by.
He tapped in a few numbers and held the phone against his ear, using his hand to hide it for the most part. He hunched over with his elbows on his knees to try to make the position appear natural.
"Hello, Standard Pizza."
"Hi. This is..." Ephesus struggled to recall his name under pressure, "this is Edison. I wonder if you deliver to Unit Peak?"
"It would be unusual, but we can do it, if you can pick the up the pizza street-side."
"Of course. I need three pizzas, preferably with peppers."
"You want those things kept warm?"
"No. A regular truck will do."
"Will that be cash or check?"
"Uh.... neither."
"Right."
Ephesus returned to the front of the Unity Peak building to find Nic engaged in an awkward looking conversation with someone. The stance of the other man betrayed that he was a man in authority. Nic usually didn't do well with those.

A really large update comes up next...

Saturday, August 18, 2012

Crook Q Part 49

Nic looked up, surveyed his surroundings, and said, "We had best avoid using our names. I'll be Paul."
Smyrna smiled to himself, thinking, "I hope so." Then he said aloud, "And I'll be Stephen."

Nic looked blankly forward for a second then muttered, "I am not sure how to take the implications of that. Either you hope to die or you anticipate it happening anyway, neither of which is an encouraging sign." As Smyrna began to respond Nic cut him off, "Well we're here. The tallest tower in the province. The great Unity Peak."
Smyrna mumbled, "Seems rather lame to me."
"And to me, too. If I ever get to use Red Rain, I'll dump it on here first."
"And while you are at it why don't you just call me by my real name, if you are so comfortable dropping code words audibly."
Nic shrugged and walked toward the tower. Smyrna followed by example. They did their best not to glance at the men who were standing still or loafing nearby the doors. They weren't guards, just watchers. Almost more deadly than guards with machine guns were the idlers with pistols and ears. The United preferred to slowly constrict on a target than to jump them with big guns. It was less messy and made a quieter display of supremacy. Just enough for newspaper pictures and banners on the internet.
Smyrna pushed through the revolving door into the large lobby. Nic paused outside to read the inscription. "A Tower into Heaven. If any god should be offended by this tower, let it come and prove itself. We are the United, and cannot be divided."
Nic sneered and whispered, barely parting his lips, "If as one people speaking the same language they have begun to do this, then nothing they plan to do will be impossible for them. Come, let us go down and confuse their language so they will not understand each other."
Nic did his best to slam the revolving door, ignoring the impossibility of the attempt. He passed into the lobby and spotted Smyrna waiting for him. As soon as Nic got near Smryna began walking away, and Nic followed him into the men's bathroom.
Ephesus was there, too. Nic never knew how those two had arranged to meet in a bathroom.
After they had each finished their business, or at least pretended to, they returned to the lobby and sat down together around a low table. All hunched over the table, Ephesus asked, "Do either of you know exactly what this building is for? What goes on in here?"
Nic sounded off, "When I was young this building was the honors high school. They sent us young geniuses there."
Ephesus raised his eyebrows, "Did they teach you humility?"
Nic returned, "They tried. When I learned that humility was only useful if you needed to disguise your ability, I learned to have it selectively."
Smyrna interjected, "Why do you ask, Ephesus?"
"I need to know if it is safe to make a call in," he whispered.
Nic shook his head, "Found that out the hard way, on a legal device even."
Ephesus continued, "Well we have pretty much no time until they have us nailed, if they haven't tracked us already. They may only be waiting to make the grab for when there are cameras to see it."
"Are they really so vain?"
"Well, Stephen, they know they can always drag us into the temple later. Once they have spotted you there is no losing you, so they may as well maximize dramatic affect."
Ephesus made one glance at his father and at Nic. "And you are?"
"Paul. John Paul Jones. I just go by the middle name."
"Somehow I would have expected Benedict Arnold."
"We can't all have the same name can we, Benny?"
Ephesus rolled his eyes, but accepted the new designation.

Crook Q Part 48

Nic smiled, "Who ever said I was honest, anyway?"
Smyrna continued walking in silence, until he broke it saying, "I don't think I have ever been referred to as dangerous before."
Nic passed Smyrna and whispered as he went, "Take it as a compliment. I've been dangerous all my life."


The two continued down the street with for a few paces, then Dr. Smryna started smiling.
"What's tickled your fancy now, old man?"
"It's Thomas."
"Thomas has tickled your fancy? This seems to be an odd revelation."
Smyrna just gave Nic a dull stare in response.
After a long moment Nic almost sheepishly continued in a low-toned, half-dead whisper, "What has tickled your fancy, Thomas?"
"You had said you have been dangerous all your life, and I began imagining what that would be like in your childhood."
Nic chuckled, "I would say that the title applies there, though in an entirely different way."
"I should hope a different way."
Nic laughed. "Yes, a different way. I was dangerous because I always said the wrong thing."
"Do explain."
"Socially, politically, culturally, any way I would always say the wrong thing. Outspoken in my curiosity, I guess. I always questioned what should not be questioned. It made some people hate me, and made me 'dangerous' to have around if you wanted to have a normal conversation."
"You mean you didn't know how to keep your mouth shut?"
"Oh no, I knew how. I just deliberately did not restrain myself." Nic laughed again, a higher pitched sort of snorty chuckle.
"Then I'd agree that you are dangerous. Anyone who can't restrain his tongue could set the whole world on fire."
"And that's my plan, too, if they won't let me speak."
Smyrna shot a curiously angry glance at Nic. "I don't know what deluded me into helping you, but now I am beginning to think that I am assisting a madman."
"Oh, I am a madman, Smyrna, a very mad man. I am mad for so many things. But I do not think that it is I that am crazy, so much as the whole rest of the world."
"I don't think everyone else is threatening to burn away all humanity if they don't get to have control."
"Oh but they are, Doctor, but they are. All in the little limited ways they are. They all throw their tantrums when they lose control. Most of them have only power enough to mess up a few other people's lives, maybe only spoil a day or two, but I," he raised the pitch of his voice, "But I... I am more powerful. If the world doesn't sober up and leave me at peace... they may all rest in peace."
"No exceptions?"
"None."
"I suppose you think a burned-out world would be a pleasant one? Would you really enjoy it if you successfully annihilated every voice that resisted you?"
Nic did not answer.
Sensing victory, Smyrna pressed his advantage, "I suppose you realize that you would do them all what they have done to you? You complain of being repressed, that you cannot speak as you would. So instead you would repress every one else in eternal silence, so that you can glory in your exalted cemetery paradise."
Nic kept his gaze on the sidewalk, carefully not stepping on any cracks. Eventually he muttered, "But it isn't fair."
"Life isn't fair, Doctor. A life spent in pursuit of fairness will fall dead on the track no closer to the end than when the gun fired, without divine intervention."
"I do not allow for the divine."
"And there will come a day when the divine will not allow for you. Then you will see what He thinks of all your denial of Him."
Nic remained in silence.
So Dr. Smyrna struck the final chord, "And what then, Nic? What then?"
Nic looked up, surveyed his surroundings, and said, "We had best avoid using our names. I'll be Paul."
Smyrna smiled to himself, thinking, "I hope so." Then he said aloud, "And I'll be Stephen."

More name games and intriguing dialogue in the next part....

Wednesday, August 15, 2012

Story Plotting Update

Hallo, folkses, Precious...
A few days and weeks ago I set up a poll and asked what story you wanted me to start as Thread III to replace my precious Caesar the Troll. And you resoundingly chose my favorite of the options, The Four Golems. And through all my days as a blogger, I have always obeyed the will of the masses, being an American and all.
That
ends
now.
There will not be a Thread III.
As I began pre-writing on The Four Golems, I realized what a mammoth endeavor it was. 'Twas a big one. One very deep character, a respectable amount of worldbuilding, too much to do.
Instead, I will double down on Red Rain, the sequel. That should up its quality and quantity, both of which should make ya'll glad, and Aubrey too because it will come out faster. Ideally, drafting will be done in October or so by my schedule so that we can have publishing rolling by early December... in time for Christmas and for me to start something new come early 2013.
So yes, I assert my independence of my own democratic system, and announce that I rule everything.

Saturday, August 11, 2012

A Red Rain Review

Call me anything you want, but don't call me late for Aubrey's review contest.
Pretty much everything is rated for its maximum potential considering the kind of book being reviewed, and then on how well the potential was realized. Like gymnastics, for you Olympics watchers.

Red Rain
a Novella
by Aubrey Hansen

summary:
Philadelphia would be normal school girl if she wasn't also a Christian. Because of that, she is relegated to an outcast society, stripped of all but the most basic rights and devoid of all respect. Under the constant threat of violence, she lives a quiet and contented life. Her own family has twice been struck with tragedy because of their Christianity, but she never wavers in her chosen faith and identity.
Her real test comes when her father is called away to a science project on Mars, and she faces separation from the last of her remaining earthly family, even as she experiences parting with her spiritual family at the same time.
All in all, family is the theme of the story, as Philadelphia must choose which family and identity she will make for herself as she grows up.

plot: The plot of Red Rain is engaging. It follows one simple plot line throughout the book, with enough twists and turns to keep you guessing, but too many to tie your brain in knots. Total length of reading time barely exceeds two hours, and I am a slow reader, so if you are looking for a nice afternoon read, Red Rain is excellent. I most recommend it be acquired in eBook form because Aubrey gives great discounts there, which can help give you more bang for your buck. The main drawback is that certain events seem almost to recur, and sometimes Philadelphia's reasoning for her decision making seems vacuous, leaving the reader occasionally wondering what happened and why, and most especially why it is happening again.
Potential: +++oo
Execution: ++++o

setting: The settings detailed in Red Rain are a hidden gem, the piano amongst the orchestra. Always vividly described, Aubrey spares her readers of incessant detail but also avoids leaving us wondering what kind of world we are in. From a concentration camp, to a spaceship, ending on Mars, the reader never looses track of the world around them. Through the eyes of her first-person narrator, we pick up on all the valuable details and the essential generalities.
Potential: ++++o
Execution: +++++

characters: The characters of Red Rain are a delightful bunch, neither to complicated nor agonizingly predictable. Even though some of them wear their personality on their names, literally, the motley crew of Christians, agnostics, atheists, and what-have-you will never make you want to bang your head against a wall. Forever realistic and surprisingly consistent, everyone from Philadelphia herself to the bus driver in the camp is described as much as you need and not more than you want. Cleverly described through the plot developments, forced acceptance is never required, and foreshadowing remains shady enough that we are never forced to suspend our intelligence as we try to decipher the true humans that wander the grey walls of earth or the glass houses of Mars. However, some of the characters do leave us wishing we understood them more, especially in the motivation department.
Potential: +++oo
Execution+++oo

content: [This section focuses on objectionable and commendable content.]
Objectionable: There are no explicit remarks or allusions to mature content. Vulgarisms are limited to the mention that certain characters swore, without specific words being mentioned. Drug and alcohol content are absent. Spiritualism is limited to a Christian context. The only disagreeable opinion may be the Smyrna family's disposition towards a near complete pacifism.
Potential: +++++
Execution: +++++
Commendable: Philadelphia's example of faith and courage and conviction is astounding. Even if her decisions may not seem to be the most rational, it is clear that she is following through on her beliefs in accordance with her faith.
Other characters display apathy or antagonism to faith in general, which is portrayed well and unattractively.
The morals and mores of this story are totally sound by my judgment, with the single possible exception mentioned above.

A Little Life Update

Hey all, just got back from my brother's wedding. Yeah. Nothing too major. Got a sister, my first ever. And she is awesome!
And I got to hold a real ring, since I was best man. Got to stroke my brother's wedding ring saying, "My precious."
And then, tonight, I discovered that I could dance. And not just like any normal person. I dance like a crazy insane man. I had someone ask me if I had drank the champagne they had up at the head dinner table I was so crazy. New favorite secular song: I'm Gunna Be. Romping around the reception like pack of crazy men, trying to keep up with pro dancers on the dance floor. Oh yeah. College is gonna be fun.

Wednesday, August 8, 2012

Official Leave of Absence

Hallo folks, you may have noticed the absence of posts. Real life has jumped on me and made me pretty busy. My birthday was two days ago, I am packing for college, and my brother is getting married on Friday, and I am his best man and all... busy busy bust. And now I am going to school. For the next week or two, posts will be sporadic at best, absent at worst. I hope you will indulge me with some patience.
For all of you Red Rain readers, I invite you to read my now completed story: Caesar the Troll. It has received some high marks from all readers it has, and many people who haven't. Once I have adapted to school schedules, I should resume posting regularly.
Thank you.

Monday, August 6, 2012

Crook Q Part 47

Today is a special day. Not only because I got up early and the sun is shining, but also because it's my birthday. And now to help the two elder scientists catch up with the young one. The only thing that bothers me is that these scenes move so fast... no matter. There will be more epic actionness, later.

The doors on the bus hissed shut, just slow enough for Smyrna to see his son take a seat as the bus began rolling away. They stared after the bus and read the digital sign on the back, "Street 92 & Delta."
Smyrna was most familiar with the mapping of the city. "That's a number of blocks down that way."
Nic twitched his mustache. "You think we can out pace it and meet him at the end?"
"Not a chance, without drawing attention to ourselves."
"Well let's duck in an alley then and ditch these lab coats." The two scientists stepped out of sight for a moment and tossed their lab coats under a rusted-out dumpster. They reemerged and did their best to look like ordinary concerned citizens.
As more and more official cars came running around the bend they made off. Bumping and jostling their way down the street, they tried to not appear to be in too great of a hurry. A few blocks down they caught up with a knot of regular workers moving toward the tallest tower in sight. Nic and Smyrna cautiously joined the tail of that group, looking as carefully as they knew for concealed weapons.
They passed through a small park, one of the rare patches of grass in the city. The thoroughfare had been surrounded by exotic trees in flower pots at some time in the past, but those plants had choked to death and were now overgrown with ordinary moss and weed. Nic remarked on the degree of sanitation and cleanliness in the area, "It's interesting how every concave surface in the city eventually becomes a garbage receptacle."
Smyrna stuttered a step to fall back even with the younger scientist. He whispered, "Remember. You have seen all this before. Nothing is unusual."
Nic made an anomalous grunt noise, unwilling to admit mistake, unable to pretend innocence. He just pushed along ahead, half a stride in front of Smyrna.
In an effort to avoid being seen as unusual, the two crossed the street multiple times, sometimes waiting for the traffic lights to change to their advantage. The only sign of their constant apprehension was the hair sticking up on the back of Smyrna's neck, an involuntary impulse he wished he could control.
The tower was beginning to loom over them when loud speakers erupted, "Attention United Citizens: Criminals have escaped their containment at the Paradise Come Lab on Street 80 and Delta. They are armed, dangerous, and seditious."
The two tried not to break their stride, but couldn't help but cock their ears to listen to the speaker. Their pace quickened ever so slightly, against their will.
 "Two are religious Unaccepted. If you see anyone suspicious, or have information as to their whereabouts, report it immediately to the nearest United Peace Outpost, or the first United Peace-Keeping Officer you can find."
Nic barely refrained from yelling, keeping it to a harsh whisper, "Well, at least they know I'm not as bad as one of you."
Smyrna winked, "Or else they don't yet know about Ephesus and figure you are one of us."
"I am just upset that they labelled me as seditious. It's you two Christians who are seditious."
"So says the one who refers to the United Representatives as 'clowns' and their scientists as  'fluffy.'"
"That is not the same. That insulting, not seditious. I cannot imagine them blaring over the city that I am insulting. And between the two of us, I am the only one armed, too. Their announcements need some work."
Smyrna snorted, "I do not believe they are as concerned about exact truthfulness as we Christians are."
"It's not Christianity that makes me honest."
Smyrna turned his head at Nic, "Then what is it?"
Nic smiled, "Who ever said I was honest, anyway?"
Smyrna continued walking in silence, until he broke it saying, "I don't think I have ever been referred to as dangerous before."
Nic passed Smyrna and whispered as he went, "Take it as a compliment. I've been dangerous all my life."

No guesswork involved in finding out what happens to Nic and Smyrna next. Read on!

Saturday, August 4, 2012

Crook Q Part 46

 Updates: My vacation went awry and it is over already, so I am back to posting. The Four Golems one last weeks poll, so some day soon we will start seeing posts from there, after I outline the basics of a plot. The current poll is seeing nice participation. It is a more fun one than many of my previous, so pick at will; you are allowed to choose multiple options. And, finally, we are returning to a neglected plot line. How Crook Q himself attempts to escape Paradise Come Labs. (Tell me someone noticed the play on "Paradise Lost.")

A tall building of shining silver, steel, and glass, it really did bespeak power and grandeur. At the top was what appeared to be a massive telescope. Engraved on a stone at the door into the building were the words, "A Tower into Heaven." Ephesus looked closer at the stone and saw under it these words etched, "If any god should be offended by this tower, let it come and prove itself. We are the United, and cannot be divided."
Ephesus only wished and prayed that He would come.


--

Ephesus calm and small voice barely fell into the elevator. "Dad, get inside."
"No son. Let me do it. They can't do anything to me worse than they've done before."
"You're right."
Ephesus took one step toward the hatch into the elevator, then grabbed his dad and tripped him headfirst into the hole. Nic caught him on his way down and restrained him.
Now Ephesus was yelling, "The magnetic repulsion brakes will catch you softly at the bottom. Just hold onto the walls and keep your head tucked in."
Then he jumped over to the roof of the elevator, drawing one of his explosive tubes out of his coat.

"Ephesus!" Smyrna barked up from his awkward position in Nic's arms.
"Shut up old man!" Nic insisted. "Last thing we need is to be screaming each others names." Nic tossed him off into the corner of the elevator, then squatted down against the bottom of the elevator himself, bracing his hands against the railing.
Smyrna just lay there, somewhere between anger and sobbing.
One loud blast didn't even shake the elevator. Nic looked up the hatch and saw the first flash, feeling the elevator quiver ever so slightly. He wasn't sure Ephesus had a very good idea.
Then the last one got it. Gravity edged away as the elevator free fell for a few seconds. Nic reached into his chest pocket and clasped the micro chip, just to assure himself that it was still there. Once he was out, it was all he needed.
Then gravity came back, very suddenly at first, crushing Nic's hand into his chest, then softly and the elevator stopped. Doctor Smyrna had sat up, but remained in shock and fury in the corner.
"Come on, old Christian, help an unbeliever open these doors. Unless you're praying, in which case don't let me stop you. At this rate, your petitions may be all we can hope for."
"All we can hope for is what He would give us, Nic."
"Then let's both hope that He would let us through the door, because otherwise, your son has managed to stick us in quite a spot." Nic was busy trying to wedge the barrel of his gun between the doors. Smyrna saw all the lights on the control panel flash. He pressed the "open door" button.
Nic flashed his gun back into hiding as the doors opened with a happy chirp. He took one astounded glance at Symrna before proceeding out the door into the crowded lobby as though nothing were happening. Smyrna crept up behind him and whispered, "Thank God we got out of there, literally. And that is an imperative."
"Aww, shut up."
Smyrna smiled, probably the first time that had been his reaction to that phrase.
The two scientists walked out of the doors without being accosted, as streams of other scientists exited. They stood on the corner, wondering how they should get out. A bus was approaching from one side. Nic whispered, "I do not think mass transit is our best chance at escaping long term."
"No. We are supposed to meet at the tallest building in sight, remember?"
"Yes," said Nic.
The two stepped forward, trying not to appear as though they were seeking out a specific building. If they appeared to be unfamiliar with the city, that alone might get them caught. Smyrna half-whispered, "Down there, to the right."
Nic looked, and his eyes went wide as a series of crashed and flashes and bangs erupted out of the side of the building.
Smyrna turned and watched as a young man in his son's old coat from home jumped out of a second story window. In the confusion of the startled and mad evacuation, the tumult was barely noticed, much less the young man as he slipped into the milling crowed of upset scientists.
Nic and Smyrna jockeyed there way through the crowd towards where they had seen Ephesus, because Nic knew he had the cell phone. They had agreed for Nic to carry the microchip because Nic insisted that they didn't need both of the precious pieces of technology on one person, and Ephesus couldn't let Nic carry an underground cell phone.
The doors on the bus hissed shut, just slow enough for Smyrna to see his son take a seat as the bus began rolling away. They stared after the bus and read the digital sign on the back, "Street 92 & Delta."

More of Nic and Smyrna's adventure has been published!

Thursday, August 2, 2012

Crook Q Part 45


Greetings, readers. I interrupt your regularly scheduled reading to alert you of a few things. First, new poll! It's pretty self explanatory. Second! I will be going on a vacation this evening that will last until Sunday. I will have internet access and will be around the interwebz, but my posting may slow or stall. Be fairly warned. Third, the Philli posts are going to pause for a bit while I catch up on Crook Q, since Philli is getting to far ahead. The next few posts will continue the epic story of the escape of our be-hated Crook Q.

During the few minutes that remained he surveyed the people around him in the bus. All dreary looking on their faces, they did not hold conversations with each other at all. Then Ephesus spotted it. A camera right beside the destination screen. He looked around. There were speakers in the ceiling and at floor level. Speakers were the easiest way to hide microphones: in plain sight.
So much for his new disguise.
Ephesus fingered one of the pockets of his cape, one that was on the forearm naturally. His cell phone was carefully tucked away inside. As soon as he could get completely out of sight he would call the local operative and arrange for a pick-up.
Then he remembered the complication. Dad and Nic were still out there, somewhere. There was no going to safety without them. Neither of them knew anything about the underground, and even sneaking back into Camp 17 would never work. They could hide there, maybe, if Nic would allow it, but Ephesus knew that with the new commander those two couldn't be safe long.
Choosing to ignore the fact that he and his family and Nic were all now wanted people and that anywhere the United could reach they would never be safe, Ephesus concentrated on the here and now. As one of their plans, he and Nic had agreed to meet at the tallest tower in sight from the building they escaped from twenty-four hours after escaping, or sooner.
Unfortunately, Ephesus was on a bus heading away from there, so it would be difficult to figure that one out. As Ephesus considered that difficulty, a recorded message came over the speakers. "Citizens of the United, look out the windows on the left." Every head dutifully turned to the left, Ephesus awkwardly feeling like many of them were actually looking at him. The voice continued, "What you see is a testament to the unity and power of humanity when ruled justly. The tallest tower in the city, the great Unity Peak speaks of all our accomplishments. We climbed to the top of the skies, and looking out, there is nothing beyond but space. We our the sole lords and masters of the universe."
Every head on the bus turned back to staring into space. Apparently the bus played that recording every time it passed that city block.
A few minutes later the bus hissed to a stop a street corner. The sound played again, "Welcome to Street 92. The United bids you a happy and productive day."
Ephesus filed off with the rest of those getting off, and immediately doubled back on the path the bus had came. That was the tower to go for, undoubtedly, since it would still be in sight of the lab they had escaped. Besides, no police would ever expect him to lurk so close to the place of his escape.
The city took a lot longer to traverse on foot. Ten minutes had passed when loudspeakers, which were posted on every street corner, blared, "Attention United Citizens: Criminals have escaped their containment at the Paradise Come Lab on Street 80 and Delta. They are armed, dangerous, and seditious." The words were clipped, as though recordings were spliced together. "Two are religious Unaccepted. If you see anyone suspicious, or have information as to their whereabouts, report it immediately to the nearest United Peace Outpost, or the first United Peace-Keeping Officer you can find."
Ephesus tried to keep a confident look on his face as he kept walking. He had put his jacket back on normally and switched his hair again, but he knew that no amount of simple tricks could shake the ever watchful eye of the United.
He was near the foot of the Unity Peak when his trepidation began to grow. He saw numerous men standing around, appearing to be doing nothing but watching. Ephesus did his best not to make eye contact. He realized a few seconds too late that these were probably plain-clothes officers. Then he confirmed his suspicion when he saw the classic electric pistol shape in relief on one man's back.
They appeared to not have noticed him in particular, so he just kept going. Besides, he reasoned, turning around would only make him appear more suspicious.
He looked up into the face of the Unity Peak. A tall building of shining silver, steel, and glass, it really did bespeak power and grandeur. At the top was what appeared to be a massive telescope. Engraved on a stone at the door into the building were the words, "A Tower into Heaven." Ephesus looked closer at the stone and saw under it these words etched, "If any god should be offended by this tower, let it come and prove itself. We are the United, and cannot be divided."
Ephesus only wished and prayed that He would come.

The next portion is out for your enjoyment... and more mine!

Wednesday, August 1, 2012

Philli Part 28

Hopefully they won't check the street cameras or they will know I never left. Then they might begin to suspect something, and at the very least they could put me in prison for business fraud."
"For that? What kind of prison? How long?"
"For that. Whatever prison they want. As long as they feel like. Welcome to the Outside. Hopefully you never have to live in it." 

Stanyard left quickly through a hatch in the ceiling. I didn't ask him any of the other multitude of questions that I wanted to. I figured he couldn't stay any longer.
Cea was still sleeping, and I figured better not to wake her, so I went over to what Stanyard had called the "burn pile." I wasn't going to read any more of that "manual for RIUNS," but I had to find something to do. Once Cea was awake we could try to figure out what we should do from here. I knew I was not versed in underground skills enough to figure things out for myself on this one.
There were a few books there in the burn pile. On all of their covers and many of their pages were crudely stamped the words, "Religious. Discard," or "Archaic. Discard." I scanned their titles as the paper backs fluttered through my hands. The Song of the Troll. The Hobbit. Angel Fall, and something by someone named Burnett. They were all written by authors I had never heard of, except maybe in school. I didn't listen much in literature class at school because they had tried to teach me so much rubbish.
If worst came to worst I would try to read through the stamping on those old pages, but now the huge map on the wall had caught my attention. I wondered why it hadn't been of interest to me before.
It was a map of part of our city, in great detail. Words were scrawled across it in a language I had never seen before, full of angles and crossing lines. Numbers, too, in combinations that clearly indicated words somehow. These underground workers were incredible.
All the streets of the city ran in a cardinal direction, or else at a perfect forty-five degree angle, in huge blocks. More properly termed a metropolis, it was composed of blocks all segmented by huge streets six lanes wide, which were given numbers or names. The east-west streets had numbers, and those running north-south had names. The names were simple ones like "A" "Alpha" and other languages names for their first letter.
I looked up at the top of the map and my eyes went wide. There was Street 17 Camp, one of hundreds of blocks in the city. Indeed, the camp now only took up a small portion of the block as other dwelling and utilities built up around it as its walls were pushed in.
Never had the tactic of moving the walls in seemed more powerful to me than now. We really were shrinking away.

Want to read more? The next part is out!

Crook Q Part 44

Two steps before the window Ephesus grabbed the baton out of his last pocket and threw it through the glass, then jumped through it himself.
His jacket sustained innumerable tears from the glass spikes that had survived the explosions and baton, but thanks to clever folding and ducking his skin escaped the serrated edges. He only had to land a fifteen foot fall.

He had run out of the side of the building that faced the street. Six lanes wide with a metal rail through the middle. Legions of cars and buses flew across it at unbelievable speed. But to Ephesus' mind everything moved slowly as his own rate of thinking sped  up.
Ten feet off the ground he checked his landing options. He had burst out with so much speed he was going to nearly hit the street, since the sidewalk was only a few feet wide. He threw his head back, trying to avoid flying to far, and rolled to his side
Ephesus' mind was filled with a dull roar as the adrenaline rushed through his body. He heard dull thud of himself landing on the concrete, and jerked his feet in to avoid their getting run over. He bounced to his feet.
To his right were the doors into the building; it was situated on the corner. To his left was a long street. Looking right again he saw a police car with sirens blazing flying down the street, even outpacing the cars around him.
A bus stopped outside the building and opened its doors. Its huge size blocked Ephesus' view of the police car, for which he was glad. Fearing shots coming from above Ephesus slipped into a knot of people moving for the bus.
He slipped onto the bus and went immediately to a seat. He knew it was not the best way to try to escape, but it beat staying within easy shooting range of the window he had just smashed.
Then the pain in his jaw returned. He hoped also that no one would make him talk.
The bus began scooting away and instantly the building he had left was surrounded by police and fire-fighting crews. Ambulances rushed in as well, and the bus pulled slowly away. Ephesus looked to the large screen that showed the next stop. It read "Street 92. 12 Mn."
Twelve minutes to evade detection and then get off.
As soon as he could without attracting attention Ephesus slipped into the bathroom at the rear of the bus. There was no mirror. Changing his appearance would not be so simple.
A few tweaks later he re-emerged, his hair fairly wet and combed over at a right angle. He had taken off his jacket and tied its arms around his neck, almost like a cape, leaving his plain white undershirt visible. He might look weird, but to his logic, seeming weird was the last way to get noticed in the Outside.
During the few minutes that remained he surveyed the people around him in the bus. All dreary looking on their faces, they did not hold conversations with each other at all. Then Ephesus spotted it. A camera right beside the destination screen. He looked around. There were speakers in the ceiling and at floor level. Speakers were the easiest way to hide microphones: in plain sight.
So much for his new disguise.

Ready for more? The next part is out!