Wednesday, June 13, 2012

Crook Q Part 3

Greetings, fellow Americans, and fellow citizens of all countries with internet access. I bring out to you now the next section of this, my most popular story. What do you think of this odd twist?

Q was perpetually curious, even in jail, and so asked, "Got a name? I used to know a few commanders from around North America."
The guard who called himself Tower responded, "Ambrose." 
From Tower's position, he couldn't see what response registered on Q's face, but he noted particularly the pause between his announcement and Q's response, "Yes. That's one of the ones I knew. And I think you are right on all those counts."
Before Tower could say anything more, Q began walking slowly, but with great resolve, towards the shaft that led to the cells. He proceeded directly to his own cell, which shut after scanning him to be sure the correct prisoner had entered. He then sat still for a few hours, staring into the metal work of his desk.

Days passed, during which Q kept a very low profile. He actually tried his best to be semi-sociable with the other prisoners, so not to stand out as a loner. That was how he met John and Dowe.
Q had just finished a rather awkward and completely non-intellectually stimulating conversation with a group of the more violent prisoners, and was looking for less dangerous company. He approached two older men who were always together, curious what it was that kept them together at all times.
Before he could even greet them the white-haired one, John, called to him, "Hey, Q, glad to finally make your acquaintance."
Q, who had no desire to have his name shouted across the yard, hurried to meet them. He felt at a disadvantage, since apparently this odd pair knew him and he didn't know them yet. He answered as friendly as he could manage, "Hello. I do not believe I have been pleased with your acquaintance yet."
Dowe answered, "Few are pleased to make our acquaintance," with a nudge to his buddy and a wink to their latest comrade. 
Q smiled quizzically at the first bit of humor he had heard since arriving on the island, barring the unrepeatable ones that would never count as jokes in polite company.
John resumed speaking, "I suppose then that you're curious about us? Well, I will give you the inside story. We are super heroes, locked down here because the United got jealous. I have the ability to control the weather, and Dowe over there can turn anything into a big red rubber bouncy ball if he tries real hard while shaking his fist at the subject item. After we accidentally turned a commander's car into rubber and dumped rain on him as soon as he managed to get out, that's when they booked us in here."
Q had no response to this story. Dowe took over, "It took them quite a while to finally lock us up. See, they discovered our sole weakness was concrete. Any time it's in our field of vision, we completely lose control of our special powers."
John continued the banter, "For a while they tried to get us to tell how we got the powers, but we never would, and eventually, we forgot, too."
Q had had enough of the ridiculous conversation, and so sought to undo them, "I see. Would you care to explain why you do not just close your eyes and turn the wall into a big, red, rubber bouncy ball?"
John and Dowe looked at each other for a moment, then laughed, and John replied, "Man, no one ever found a logical flaw in that story... maybe if we change how our weakness works more people will believe it." He finished with a nudge to Dowe and a wink to Q.
Q sat speechless. This pair was oddly winsome, despite the fact that their conversation was even less intellectually stimulating than the last one. Indeed, what they said seemed to be causing the brains to spill out of Q's ears, a concept which, itself, was revoltingly unintelligent to Q's mind.
John turned the conversation around, "How about a deal, Q? You tell us your story and we'll give you the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth."
Q considered this option, but was at the moment unwilling to divulge his background. "My apologies, but I cannot do that at this moment."
So Dowe responded, "Alright then, I guess we'll just have to tell our story anyway then." 


  1. That was unexpected. Both Q's reaction and the new characters.

    I'm hoping we hear Q's story eventually. :D

    1. I hope you will pardon the new characters, Lady Hansen, and indeed, this scene surprised me a bit, but I think with my crazy plot-string yanking that will be coming it will make some more sense. It is really included for a deeper metaphorical meaning that I wanted to keep, even if these two do not make sense.
      And by the way... they may not be quite as new as you think. Nearly so... but they tie back to the original a little bit as well =]

    2. I rather like them, and I am quite curious as to where you will take them. It was a good "unexpected." :)

      I'll have you know I'm desperate for part 4...

    3. Glad you like 'em... perhaps you will like the new direction in Part 4? It's out, you know =]

  2. This comment has been removed by the author.

  3. I like it, Reiyen! It definitely had a couple of unexpected twists. Q's reaction, the new characters, and why John and Dowe are going to tell their story anyway. I can't wait for part 4.

    1. I love making people wait when they think they can't, hahahah. Those two I think will be my test to see if I can create Hansen-like characters or not.

    2. Okay, humor me - how are you defining "Hansen-like" characters? I'm extremely curious, since I have no idea how to define my own characters...

    3. Basically, the question is how well my characterization methods can match yours, and also if I can approximate the balance of depth and one-dimensional nature in your characters. Some of your characters are, deliberately, one-dimensional, such as Ambrose or Mr. Dass. Some are two-dimensional, such as Nic or Mr. Sardis. Some are 3-D, like Philli and Dr. Smyrna. A Hansen-like character, then, is defined by the following:
      A particular number of dimensions based on their role in the story which is directly proportional to their time "on screen." Ambrose shows up once = one dimensional. Nic, Cea, Sardis, show up a few times, they get two dimensions. Philli, Smyrna, lot of screen-time, lot of dimensions. There are no enigmatic characters who only show up once.
      Secondly, a Hansen-like character is described primarily through indirect characterization, particularly by dialogue as compared to by action. Even when a character's actions are in the lime light, it is their words that are used primarily to describe them. For example, in one of Dr. Nic's scenes on Mars, he rather roughly orders Philli to exit the 30's wing. His words are the primary medium of explanation, words like "snapped" and "growled," as opposed to slamming doors, pounding his fist, throwing back his head, or shooting dark glares.
      Finally, a Hansen-like character has a bearing in reality that allows you accept the character at face-value. Such characters do not have to be hyper-analyzed by the readers to discern their motivations. You know a Hansenesque character like you know a normal person. You either know them only as an acquaintance, and so only remember their one important characteristic (like I would remember Dieki, for instance. He's the computer genius), or you know them very well, and so remember many characteristics (like one knows their best friend).
      While many of these aspects of character are universal to character-studies, it is the particular blend and balance that creates a Hansen-like character.

    4. I apologize for not replying to this earlier! I actually have it saved for future study. As we've discussed, my characterization methods are based on plot and the writing style. Capturing my characters' personalities primarily by dialog wasn't an intentional decision; it was a natural reflection of the minimalist, script-like writing style I was trying to assume. So this assessment of yours really helps me see how it comes off to a reader, so it will be very helpful to me as I refine my style (or if I attempt to do this style again).

  4. Do I need to read Red Rain before reading this sequel ? I am sure it would be better , but will the sequel stand on its own ?

    1. Yes, to get the full effect and truly understand what is going on, you should read Red Rain first. It'll take you like 2 hours and make this far more understandable.

    2. I read Red Rain today. I is quite good. Very engaging.

      I will now continue through this story.

    3. *is very happy David's dad read her book* :D